In the article, The Quiet Ones by Tim Kreider, he discusses
the many problems that people face in the quiet cars on Amtrak Trains. Staying quiet is a very large deal to
these riders, and they take that simple rule very seriously. Throughout the
article, Kreider uses strong diction, vivid imagery, and syntax to convey his
points to his intended audience.
His strong diction helps create instant feelings within his audience.
When he says, “those of us who despise this tendency don’t have a voice, or a
side, let alone anything like a lobby” he is evoking emotion in the reader that
will make them feel belittled and weak. He is saying that these people can’t
find it within themselves to speak up, and these are the people who are making
the “quiet train” not so quiet today. If it weren’t for his use of such strong
diction, the article wouldn’t be as impactful on each reader. He doesn’t just
say that the noise isn’t staying quiet enough, or that it is rising above
preferred levels. He says, “until this last bastion of civility and calm, the
Quiet Car, has become the battlefield where we quiet ones, our backs forced to
the wall, finally hold our ground”. By this, he means they are doing something
about it, and not just letting ignorant people take over their quiet zones.
Kreider’s use of imagery is also very impactful
in this piece. He compares the “soft but incessant…background silence, as
maddening as a dripping faucet at 3 a.m.” When he explains how annoying and continuous
this talking is, he also compares it to other things that we can all relate to.
He goes back to our childhood, and says that the conversations between a couple
is “like a grade-school
cafeteria after the lunch monitor has yelled for silence, the volume [of the
people has] crept inexorably up again”. People just don’t know when to stop,
and they don’t know how their small chatter can be creating a large problem for
many who go to these Amtrak cars to find peace. The audience can easily picture
these events happening, seeing as they have happened more than once to the most
of them.
Finally, his use of syntax helps pull this piece
together. To help engrain this idea of togetherness of the riders, he says very
formally that “we’re a tribe, we
quiet ones, we readers and thinkers and letter writers, we daydreamers and
gazers out of windows”. This helps us know that he is being serious about everything
he has said, and that every little hint of noise affects them all. When he
says, “this is how we talk in the quiet car”, we know that they all take it
very seriously, and if it weren’t for the rude “barbarians who would barge in
on our haven with their chatter and blatting gadgets like so many bulldozers” then this article would have never
been written.
This article was quite interesting; Tim Kreider seems to have a fun way of displaying his words. I agree with you that this article is full of vivid imagery, several syntax and unique diction. Your quotes explain/ support it well. After reading the article myself, I think that there were even stronger imagery than the examples you used. Not a big deal, but if there was anything to edit on here, I would say: find stronger evidence that support your thesis (especially because Kreider has many examples). Your writing is very well organized and simple; it persuades me to also read the article. Lastly, if this is a formal writing, I think it would be better off having a concluding paragraph and restates your thesis from the beginning, although your concluding sentence was great!
ReplyDeleteJulia, this was an article that took something I would probably usually be bored by reading into a very interesting thing to consider. The metaphors and diction he used really stood out to me, using words like "quixotic" when I least expect them making the piece very enjoyable to read. Your analysis also brings the syntax and imagery to my attention, something that didn't jump out of me when I just read through it quickly. I think that all of your points are great, and I don't think anything necessarily needs to be changed, but it could be improved by expanding a little bit more on the syntax he uses or adding a concluding paragraph at the end.
ReplyDeleteWithout reading the article first, I was a bit confused in the beginning because you didn't state what one of "the many problems" the train riders have. Of course it didn't take long to figure it out, just something that you could add. I agree with Chris that you could expand on the syntax paragraph by explaining how the syntax creates the effect, not just saying what the effect is. Also, your last quote from the article is in the paragraph about syntax, but I don't think you meant it to be an example for syntax. To keep this more clear an extra conclusion paragraph would help. Other than that I found this very interesting! It's analyzes the article without being super boring and it makes the reader want to read the article for themselves.
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